Tom is a 25+ year resident of Germantown and the surrounding community. He currently lives in Hubertus with his wife and two small kids on a hobby farm near Bark Lake. Tom's blog will likely not save the world, but hopefully, you'll get some enjoyment from his ramblings.
Dear Britney,
After watching and listening to all the criticism you received over the past week regarding your performance on Sunday nights MTV Video Music Awards, I wanted to drop you a note of encouragement. For weeks, I eagerly anticipated your performance, and had myself plopped down on the couch with a beer and bag of potato chips to see you at 8pm.
First, let’s start with your outfit. Many people have given you grief for the black bra and panties combo you chose to wear. Personally, I thought it was a lovely combination. Your naysayers obviously didn’t notice the rhinestones and fishnet stockings you included as part of the outfit. These added a perfect touch of class if you ask me! In fact, had you asked me “Does this outfit make me look fat?” I would have simply replied with a smile and a compassionate “What outfit?”
As for the criticisms regarding the botched lip-synching during your performance, your same naysayers obviously do not understand the technical difficulties you must have had to deal with that night! I’m sure that the stage crew simply did not have your voice monitor turned up loud enough for you to hear yourself lip-synch. But please know Britney, I truly understand.
And as for your lackluster dance routine, I understand that as well. It was quite obvious that the one of the heels on your six-inch stilettos was broken, and you were simply doing the best you could. Where is a girl to find a decent pair of Prada’s these days!?
And lastly, I’m appalled that so many people would criticize your hair. Don’t they know that just eight months ago you were completely bald? Don’t they understand what havoc bleach and hair dyes can wreak on a young girls hair? And don’t they understand that we all have bad hair days now and then? Personally, I thought your frayed split ends looked really cute.
I heard that after your performance you broke down backstage and started crying? Awwwww....that makes me feel so bad for you! I so wish I could have been there so you could have cried on my shoulder and simply held me tight. Of course, I’m not a pervert or anything like that.
So hopefully by now, you have gotten over all the criticisms. If not, and if you would like an escape, feel free to come and visit me here in Wisconsin. I’ll gladly make you dinner, have a few beers with you, and just be there to “listen”. In fact, you can actually talk to me, and you wouldn’t even have to lip-synch. However, I do ask that you wear the black bra and panties outfit if that’s okay with you.
Talk to you soon.
-Tom
xoxo
G’Night G’Town!
There is much to be said for failure. It is more interesting than success. ~Max Beerbohm
