About six weeks ago I hired Merry Maids to come and clean my home. They are to come every other week, and while I'd love for them to come every week, I simply can not afford it. Their sales person came out to my home, and walked my husband and I through how the cleaning would be done, what it included, what we could expect, and how much it would cost us. We signed up right then and there.

The first cleaning was amazing. AMAZING! They knocked our socks off. The second cleaning was pretty good, but they missed a few things, like the laundry room, the bay window, all the window sills, and the faceplates of the electrical outlets, something they said would be done. Also, every week they'd choose two rooms that they'd pay extra special attention to, those rooms get deep cleaned and everything is moved out of the way, cleaned under, and then moved back. During my second cleaning the master bathroom and master bedroom were the rooms that were to get the special attention. It was in my opinion that while they were clean, they were NOT given special attention at all. The fact that I found things underneath the nightstands and dressers told me that they didn't move a single thing, nor did then even stick a vacuum hose under them.

My third cleaning was today, and let me tell you, I'm so disappointed. My husband left the house at noon and told me that Merry Maids had just arrived. I got home alittle before 1 p.m. and circled the block because I saw they were just leaving. ONE HOUR. They were here for ONE HOUR and folks, it showed. My seven year old could have cleaned better than they did. The utility room was not even swept, there was cat liter on the floor and under the throw rug; the bathroom floors were not washed, nor was the master bathroom floor even swept (and the reason I know this is because my shoulder length hair was ALL over the floor!); the bathroom countertops were not even wiped down, and the sinks were rinsed at best; my sliding glass doors were not cleaned; and the dressers were dusted ONE handlength in on the tops, leaving a very nice line of dust. I also ran my Dyson through the house and filled the canister 1/4 of the way. Did they even vacuum? I doubt it.

I called and complained. Three times actually. They aren't charging me for today's visit, and they shouldn't because I really think they fake cleaned my house.

What did they do? Well, I know they did wipe down my end tables and my coffee table in the living room because there was an oily finish to the them when I walked in, and they took out the trash, but beyond that I have no clue.

I'm giving them one more chance to get it right, and if they don't, they'll be fired. At that point, I'll be looking for someone else to come in and clean my house. For REAL. Can you recommend a good cleaner?

Some may say that I'm being too picky. I disagree. If you sell me a service and tell me that you'll pick up every single thing I own, wipe it down, then wipe down the surface it's sitting on, you had better do it -- because that's what I expect.

On Saturday my husband, daughter, and I were at Panera for lunch, it was the Brookfield location at Ruby Isle, and if you’ve been there before you know about the separate dining room that is off of the main room. It’s quieter in there and for some reason it’s Zoe primo spot when she’s choosing a place to sit.

So we were eating our lunch, and there was a couple of ladies a few tables away, but other than that we had the room to ourselves, when all of a sudden, I swear to God, I heard a bird chirp. I glanced around and didn’t see a bird, nor did I see anything that could have made that noise, so I went back to eating. A few minutes later I heard the bird again. I looked up, thinking I’d catch it flying across the ceiling or something, but again, I saw nothing. My husband and daughter heard the chirping too, so at least I wasn’t hearing things.

This is where I have to say that stuff like this drives me nuts! I know I heard a bird, but I never ever saw it. I’ll bet in all we heard it at least five or six times over a 20 minute period, yet every time I looked around, I couldn’t find it. If it were not for those ladies sitting a couple tables down, I would have done a complete top to bottom search of the room. However, since they were there, and didn’t seem to even notice the chirping, I’d look rather insane if I dropped to my knees and started looking underneath all the tables in search of where the chirping was coming from. Although, I did take the opportunity to look behind the garbage cans when I cleared our trays.

Zoe kept saying, ‘Okay, if I hear that chirping again then I know there’s a bird here for sure!’

Folks, let me tell you this: There was a bird there, I’m sure of it. And if I would have had the time, I would have done a stake out, if only to say ‘A ha! There’s the bird!’  and then I’d have gone about the rest of my day, just waiting for the next crazy thing to happen.

One time, at our last house, I was in our family room watching tv. My husband, and daughter, who was just a baby, were both sleeping. All of a sudden something flew across the room! My mind started to flip through it’s internal rolodex of all the possible things it could have been, and it stopped on: bat. A BAT!!! There’s a bat in my house! In the room where I am sitting!!!

And that’s when I started shrieking and threw a blanket over my head. I was frozen in my chair, and thought that if I got up and ran to the other room, the bat might just fly into me. SHRIEK!!!!! SCREAM!!!!!

My husband came running from the bedroom, saw what I was screaming about, and pretty much commanded me to get into the kitchen where we could close the swinging butler door behind us, thereby quarantining the bat in the dining room and family room area. I shot like a bullet across the room, with a blanket over my head, and he shut the door behind me.

Now what do we do? How in the heck do we get that freaking bat out of our house? Well, we walked around outside to the front door, opened it, and then waiting for the bat to fly out. Which he did, and it only took a few minutes actually. That stupid bat. That was probably one of the craziest things to ever happen.

(Cross posted @ Thoughts Outside My Head)

The Trick or Treat for my subdivision is being held tomorrow night between 5 p.m. and  7:30 p.m. The only thing I need to do to participate is turn on my outdoor lights. It seems to be a simple task. It's not.

All of my outdoor lights are the kind that automatically turn on when it gets dark, and off when it's light. They are also hardwired and I don't even have a switch to turn them off and on.

It gets even more complicated because my house is the very first one in the subdivision, my driveway is the only one on that particular stretch of road, and you can't see my front door, or porch, from first street corner where the other homes are located deeper into the subdivision. It's a tough call for a kid. Should they walk all the way over to my driveway to see if I'm indeed handing out candy, or assume I'm not and hurry on to the next house.

Last year was the first Halloween that we were in our house, and it took me a good hour of not having many kids ring my bell before I realized that I needed to do something to attact their attention. First I hung a pumpkin basket at the end of my driveway, on my mailbox, which did bring a few trick or treaters my way. Then I opened my garage door so they'd know we were indeed home.

One of the parents asked me, why don't you turn on your lights? To which I explained, as I was applying electrical tape to what I thought were the sensors on my lights, that I couldn't because they turn on automatically as it gets dark. (The tape did not work, by the way.)

So I went for my last option. My house came fully equiped with Christmas lights strung all along the soffits, and they are controlled with a timer in the garage. All I had to do was turn on the timer .... and like magic, wah-lah, my house was lit up like a carnival ride at the State Fair.

Tomorrow night my house will be lit up with Christmas lights yet again: Christmas Lights = Halloween Candy.