I’m trying to figure out how qualified a teacher would seem to be for a vice-presidential run after retirement. It might be kind of awesome. Cheney set the grumpiness bar a bit high, but we have our days when nothing goes our way. We think we’ve settled a fight between the bully and the hothead but just when the dust around the line in the sand settles, there they go again. It can make a person really angry. We do have the “So?” thing down, though. That has been our answer for years to statements like, “I don’t want to write in my journal.” or “It’s too cold to go outside for recess.” We definitely have that one tight. What teacher hasn’t thought something was a good idea, put in a requisition slip for funding or wrote a seven page grant request, got rejected but still got all the money?
Let’s see, what else. Oh, there’s the executive decision thing. I actually counted how many decisions I make every day and it came to about 30 an hour which would be 210 a day and after 35 years that equals 7,350. Some of these made the difference between empty bladder and wet, smelly denial-pants. You have to know how to read people if you’re a teacher. Kids will lie through their teeth. Very good for those long, drawn out negotiations which, from the start, you know you will win anyway.
Leadership. I figure that most teachers of retirement age have governed a population greater than that of Alaska, albeit stretched out over a longer period of time. Clearly to us, 20 months of Pied Pipering a state of 9000 people ages 0-80 and living 350 months with 30 six year olds in close physical proximity from early morning through the afternoon just simply can’t compare. It’s like comparing bee-bee guns to high powered AK47s. The teachers get this one, hands down.
International experience. Teachers come into contact with actual people from many countries of the world. In one school year you may come to know Pakistanis, Central and South Americans, Thai, African, Japanese, Iraqis, Russians, Texans, Aussies, Brits and Mexicans every day. We actually learn about their cultures and beliefs and most teachers are very well traveled, credit or no credit.
Grit. The teaching profession eats nice teachers up and spits them out. Those who make it through even five years are tough as nails and ready to shoot a moose at any moment with very little prompting. They would even eat it raw, that's how tough we are. Moosimi with wasabi. Yum. Many of us have really cool glasses too, and 3 ½ inch red high heels, although it’s hard to walk across playground woodchips in them.
So teachers, thanks to this election cycle you have another option after you retire other than taking gourmet cooking classes or subbing in a system you worked hard to retire from. You don’t have to travel with a bunch of old ladies to Alaska to view it from a train or hook up with some RV owner who thinks it a good idea to travel cross-country for the rest of his life. Go get some yard signs, canvas, phone bank and get involved. When an opening for village president comes along, jump on it. You’ll have a whole year or two to prepare for your nomination.
What a country.
