The key to managing larger class sizes is the willingness and ability to let go of your power. I know this is an issue in Shorewood and all over the country. While there is a general gut agreement that lower class sizes must be better, there is this thing called a budget which, when other things have been cut, comes at class size caps like Edward Scissorhands. But before we cut class size, I suppose we could cut other things. Remember though, once things go you don’t often see them return. Kind of like when you dump a boyfriend and insist you can still be friends. You never see him again.
There is a lot of fat we can cut in this community, though. We could cut out the separate buildings for the kindergartens and spread the kindergarten kids throughout the "big schools" where the rest of the kids are. Each class would get a couple. Children would embrace the newcomers and treat them like siblings, teaching them letters and numbers, counseling them on how to behave. They would feel a bit more compelled to be good role models, because no one wants an undisciplined five year old running around while you’re trying to take a timed math test or reenact the questionable discovery of America. Money would be saved through this method because closing the building would mean no heating bills, no custodial service billing, no more staffing. Now that’s a money saving idea.
Another way we could come at this budget thing would be to cut Spanish classes and instead, make all the teachers teach subject area content in Spanish for half an hour every other day. Let’s say, at 2:30. The whole building would speak in Spanish for that time slot from P.E. to instrumental music lessons even though it’s hard to speak at all when your lips are jammed into a metal mouthpiece trying to perfect that tuba embouchure. Sorry, musicians. Maybe you can play music that supports our efforts to internationalize. You can never get enough of “The Macarena” or “Lady of Spain“. You P.E. teachers should know that flamenco dancing is very thigh slimming and folk dances just make everybody smile. It’s a small world, after all.
Hey, I’m not out of ideas yet. Building improvements could be done under the auspices of the art department. Let’s embrace a looser definition of “improvement” and turn our art classes into interior design opportunities. Even the youngest of children can grout. Children in Japan are expected to clean their buildings from sweeping to mopping to wiping off surfaces and windows. No wonder they do better than we do in standardized testing. They have richer experiences. High School kids can work on the grounds as part of environmental education, agricultural science, botany, biology and toward a degree in topiary sculpture art. There could be a course called “Living Green” which would require students to recycle, compost, reuse and to get their classmates to wear stuff made from old backpacks and spiral notebooks. Think “Project Runway” and then think of all the money that can be saved.
At this time of year, there would be a community unification period during which classrooms would be packed up and carried out to line the halls of each building. Parents can arrive to pick up their children a bit early, and with vacuum cleaners to get those carpets cleaned. During registration in the summer, the new parents would be invited to haul the stuff back in. So you see, business office, there are many ways to save. If we think hard enough, we could probably get rid of almost every job in the district.
