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A Fine Line


Merit Pay For Everybody!

By Foyne Mahaffey
Tuesday, Apr 8 2008, 04:07 PM

I like the idea of merit pay. Pay teachers according to the progress students make on a standardized test given once a year. This makes it so much easier and the pressure is off by winter break. I will know exactly what to teach and how to teach it and during which weeks of the year. There are plenty of practice tests out there. We could do one every day from the first day of school until the administration of the test. I wouldn’t have to worry about integrating math with art or music with science and I sure wouldn’t have to send kids to Spanish anymore. That’s not tested. P.E. time could be better used working on timed math tests anyway. It will give us teachers a clear picture of what we have push the kids to do well. Cram schools. How international.

Merit pay ought to be a consideration for all professions. Wages gauged by how well the people around you do. Supervisors will get paid according to the advancements of the supervised. Parents will receive tax refunds based on how well their children do. "Well" meaning they get good grades in reading, writing, math. Your kid gets in trouble at school. Oops. Sorry, but that will be a deduction. Susie and Harold skipped a grade? Hold out your hands. We like that. Here’s more money.

Hey Doctors! Let’s set up a merit pay plan for you. If all of the patients you started with in September are cured by June, you get paid your salary. You can get a bonus if the person qualifies for the New York City Marathon the year after being in your care. True, physicians in other climes may have the edge on this one. There are lots of pool owning, bench pressing, body conscious people in the west and south where one can actually enjoy the outdoors. There are a ton of joggers and pilates people, home gyms, beach biking, volleyball and surfing, but if we start making conditional allowances, how will we ever know who is better? Rules are rules.

Let’s have merit pay for politicians too. Why not take what they think is so good and replicate it? It shouldn’t be that hard to make judgments on our elected officials. Measures are already standard. Is the stock market up, yes or no? By a lot? Not enough? Are people earning a living wage? If not, get a cardboard box and a dolly. Are interest rates reasonable? What about home mortgages? Do we owe any other nations money? Oh, that hurt. Let a bunch of teachers work out those scores and we’ll figure out your salaries for the year, senators. Then, you’ll have 180 days to show improvements or we’ll shut the whole country down. Maybe Toyota could run the government, or Honda. They seem to have a handle on things.

I think that idea has merit.

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