Wasn’t it embarrassing? Last week we found out that our sons and daughters may have tested well according to national norms, but on second look it seems that we have pretty easy tests compared to pretty much the rest of the nation. “What can be found exactly 3 1/2 degrees south of the Tropic of Cancer? ” This may be a question posed to the very smart kids everywhere else, but on the Wisconsin version of the test, here is what you might find; “Lake Michigan is…a. A River, b. A City, c. A Lake or d. I‘m Not Sure.” Don’t worry; fellow residents of the Badger State (GO BADGERS!!!), our kids will be fine. This is the first in a possible series of one, possibly more, investigative pieces about the state of testing, the state of the state regarding testing and the state of the correlation between field trip days and test performance.
As a little ice breaker, here’s a song I wrote to decry the present state of affairs, should we accept that our kids have been dumbed down. It goes to the melody of that old hit, “Try to Remember” which was made famous by Spock from Star Trek some thirty years ago. I’ve changed the song title to, “What’s After December?”
What’s After December?
Try to remember what’s after December
When you are quizzed, are you that clever?
Try to envision this one long division
Three-thousand twelve by six, no never
Try to recall where you’d find places rare
Like the state of Wisconsin or New York City
Try to remember, oh you can’t remember
A pity
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Try spelling brung, gonna, aint on the tip of your tongue
Vocabulary frightening
Try reading something besides words on pant butts
You know it could be quite enlightening
Try recollecting a noun or detecting
A dan-gl-ing participle, can you?
Can you get through even one game of Mad Libs?
You’ve no clue
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Think of times tables as one giant rap song
And essays as just long graffiti
Think of your teacher pretend she is Oprah
And you’re a guest with her on T.V.
You are our futures you’ll be giving sutures
To think of our golden years makes us manic
When we see test scores like yours in the papers…
we panic
